we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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