NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
