Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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