I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
