i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
