Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
