Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
