you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
