Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
