did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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