so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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