He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
