You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I wanna passion pit in your ass
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
