Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
