I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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