Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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