I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
