# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
