When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
