I can't breathe out the right side of my face
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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