i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
