Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
