meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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