he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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