It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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