since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
