By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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