I showed him my bush... on skype.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
