she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
