But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Where is the hickey?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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