Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
