Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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