Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
