ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
