Already got asked if we're dating
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
