He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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