Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
