So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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