what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Will exercising make me less horny?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
