forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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