lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
