My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
