1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
