there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Panties = found
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
