I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
