oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Operation Purity has been aborted
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
