Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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