Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize
