Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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