i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
When are your genitals available?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
